Making it work: Balancing a family, a job and artistic pursuits

Liz Kalloch, the lady who’s taken over organizing the monthly goal meetup has asked me to write a bit about how I keep my freelance biz going with a day job, kids and a husband. Although I have posted upon this very topic before, (here and here for example), those posts are a bit philosophical. What I’d like to do today is to focus on the brass tacks; talking specifically about things that I DO (or DON’T do) so I have time for making (and all that paperwork and marketing stuff that’s part of the package). Maybe there’s a couple of things that I do that could help you find some creative time. Maybe you realize that I’m a nutbar and that the choices I make are bizarre, but it explains why I seem to be able to get lots of things done.

1. My Husband is awesome!
   • Not only is he a very successful musician/administrator, when he comes home from work, HE makes dinner (after picking up groceries on the way home). He rocks at multitasking, so he can cook awesome food, whilst overseeing homework finishing and musical instrument practicing. Although some days this is a chore for him, often it’s something he really enjoys doing. Many times his entire day is filled with meetings, so he finds cooking/actually DOING something relaxing.
2. My kids are older (8 & 12) and they actually do chores
   • I’d like to think that I’m raising 2 awesome husbands-to-be, because I really count on my guys to actually help make the household run. Liam does the dishes about 75% of the time. He also can cook simple meals, and bake a mean oatmeal-chocolate chip cookie. Logan picks up dog poop and takes care of trash and recycling. A lot of my parenting is done by yelling something down the stairs, and my boys probably watch more TV/play more video games than they should. But they are happy kids, and get decent grades, have more than enough after school activities and they know that I love them. People tell me they are well behaved and wonderful to talk to, so I can’t be doing all that badly as a Mom. Trust me, I get grumpy more than I should, and I wish I played more games with them, but my hope is that seeing their Mom work at being fulfilled is a good life lesson.
3. I hire a cleaning lady
   • Her name is Debbie, she comes every other Friday and I pay her $100 each time. Best…money…spent…ever… In order to allow her to clean, the whole family pitches in and gets stuff picked up the night before Debbie Day. I’ve spent a fair amount of time these past 6 years decluttering and organizing the house, so for the most part things have a place to live. Getting the whole family to put it where it goes – well that’s a work in progress, but there IS a minimum of random piles of stuff – something that drives me BONKERS!
4. My laundry setup rocks!
   • I’m a very lucky gal to have a laundry room – I sort socks and underwear directly into baskets for each member of the family, and I have a large enough surface for several piles of folded clothes, sorted by person and type. I fold and sort in dribs and drabs, and when the piles are tall enough, everyone takes their basket upstairs to put it away, and because it’s already sorted in piles, my 8 year old  has been able to put his own clothes away for a couple of years now. DO we occasionally get dressed in the laundry room – sure. But because it’s an easy system, the laundry never really gets out of control.
5. I spend very little time on personal appearance.
   • I don’t do makeup, my hair gets a quick brush out of the shower, my clothes are simple, I am “low maintenance” in this area.
6. I don’t exercise regularly.
   • I really should, I know I’d probably even have more energy…note to self: exercise!
7. I hate shopping.
   • So I do very little of it! Thank goodness for the internet!
8. I watch very little TV.
   • With the advent of Tivo, I fell in love with being able to skip commercials, so I started watching my favorite shows after they were recorded. As episodes started to pile up, over time I realized that I didn’t care as much about some shows as I thought I did.
9. I live 7 minutes from work.
   • Insert choirs of angels singing! When we lived in OH, I had a 90 mile commute.
10. My job is flexible
    • I teach at a university, so I’m in the classroom 3 hours a day. Although the first few years were a LOT of work, now that my classes are designed, I can usually finish up everything but grading by the time I go pick the kids from school, and then I grade while waiting around at baseball practice, cello lessons, etc…
11. I carry my wee laptop around with me.
    • Yay laptop! I’m writing this sitting on my chaise and watching an episode of 24 (actually this is the 2nd one of the night – do you think Jack’ll make it out of this one?)
12. I don’t talk on the phone much.
    • I much prefer email. (And, of course, Twitter). BUt when I do have to chat on the phone, I’m usually waiting for the boys somewhere, or folding laundry. Yay multi-tasking!
13. I have a limited social life.
    • We are not hermits or anything, we do a fair amount of socializing for work, so when we don’t I’d much rather be at home than out. Seriously…we don’t get out much. We do have lots of friends at work, so we’re not pariahs or anything…really…
14. I have different kinds of projects for different kinds of mindsets.
    • Although I started making “everyday art” as a way to make sure I had sales at a show, I’m also finding that when I’m too stressed, tired or overwhelmed to be in a truly creative mood, I can still make this everyday art. I sometimes struggle with this fact, because I often worry that I’m copping out making stuff to sell, but I do find that this kind of making is increasing my skill levels, and allowing me to work through motifs and come up with new ones! WooHoo!
15. I’m a very fast reader
    • This is very helpful with grading and blog reading!
16. I have a beautiful studio
    • Not only is it an awesome place to be, I can leave projects out and sew a bit here and there. If I had to stop and clean up every time it was time for dinner, I wouldn’t work nearly as much.
17. I love my lists
    • For those of you who have been following along in my artistic adventures for awhile, you know that I post a list of things I’m trying to get done for Candied Fabrics each month. (I started in April of 2009, when Jena of Modish blog started this meetup on her Modish Biz Tips blog). If you had told me 5 years ago I would love making lists, I would have told you you were insane! But I’ve been doing this for a year now and I LOVE it! Having this list gives me a place to go when I’ve got some time to spare and have no idea what to do with it (HAH!)  No, seriously, this used to be a problem! I really have a compulsion to MAKE, and get very grumpy when I I haven’t in a week or two. In the past, I’d finally find that Saturday afternoon with nothing on the agenda, I’d go to my sewing room and be like “OK, now what?” I’d get totally blocked and frustrated! Now, I just go to the list and figure what kind of energy I’ve got going, and make whatever fits that energy.

Although I’m a big fan of even numbers, I’m not gonna think up 3 MORE reasons – I’m done!

I hope I’ve proven that I’m NOT superwoman, I’ve just prioritized MAKING above things like personal hygiene and “downtime” 😉 Although it CAN feel like work, I love to MAKE, I have to be DOING something, this compulsion has driven me for years, and I’ve developed/earned/created/been gifted a lifestyle that allows me to eek this time out where I can. If you’ve reached the end of this missive, I certainly hope you found SOMETHING that is the least bit helpful or hopeful!